The Battle Rages...

Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you. But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may also rejoice exultantly.  If you are insulted for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.  But let no one among you be made to suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as an intriguer.   But whoever is made to suffer as a Christian should not be ashamed but glorify God because of the name.   For it is time for the judgment to begin with the household of God; if it begins with us, how will it end for those who fail to obey the gospel of God?

^{- 1 Peter 4:12-17}

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for [someone] to devour.  Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.   The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ [Jesus] will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little.

^{- 1 Peter 5:8-10} 

It's kind of uncanny how perfect these words are right now.  I was sitting here, praying, asking God just what He wanted of me right now.  It's no secret that I've felt under attack the past few weeks, leaving me with a very distinct feeling of being "unsettled" or "uneasy."  I feel very much under spiritual attack - even to the point of asking for prayers publicly for myself and my family - and these words seem to speak directly to that attack.  God never disappoints, that's for sure!

It seems to me that we are at the forefront of the battle right now.  The Church, under direct attack from so many directions, needs to rise up in the United States.  We need to stand up, to be strong, and to take over the frontlines of this raging battle.  It's not a new battle - instead, it's one that has been fought for thousands of years - but today, our country is the active battlefield.   We need to come together, an army of the faithful, led by the Saints and archangels.

I'll admit it - I'm scared.  I'm not perfect, I'm not a great example of a Catholic.  I'm no theologian.  I struggle.  I fail - a lot.  I've made some pretty big mistakes in my life...and seem to make new ones every day.

I'm part of the breach in the fortress wall.  I helped chip away at the bricks....and I helped to make the hole through which we are being attacked.

But I cannot run away into the woods.  My Church needs me.

My children need me to protect their family in Christ.

My God is calling me to stand up and be counted.

I pray for guidance.  I know I have a faithful guide to follow into this battle - my bishop.  I pray for the strength to fall in right behind him, and to march courageously into the battle with my brothers and sisters.

I am fearful.  I want to run away.  I don't want to continue to be mocked and ridiculed.  I don't want to be this exhausted all of the time.  I don't want to fight, really.

It would be so much easier to close the doors and windows to the outside world.   Turn off the televisions and computer screens.  Surround myself only with beautiful, holy images, sounds, and news and entertainment from authentic, Catholic sources.

But yet, I hear the trumpet sounding, calling us faithful.

I hear the call to battle.

My God is asking me to stand up for Him, to be a witness to His Truth.

And so I must go....

Tired.

Unqualified.

A sinner.

And so I must go....

To fight for Love.

To speak the Truth.

To defend Life.

To advocate for the Way.

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

(written on 2/14/12, while in Adoration)